In my professional work as a dating coach, I’ve discovered the effect that opening lines can have on someone searching for a partner. Indeed, the wrong words, phrases and photos can actually push people away. That’s why I firmly believe they should never be included in your online profile!
They may be items you discuss with your BFFs and siblings, but they will come back to haunt you with your online dating profile and quickly reduce your chances of success!
Now, if you think these are made up, I beg to differ. I’ve seen them while browsing dating sites, and I’ve seen them from my own clients – which is why one of my jobs is to write online dating profiles that are actually meant to do you good.
And, when it comes to online dating profiles, I’ve realized that intelligence has nothing to do with writing a good paragraph about yourself. In fact, there are times I feel there is an inverse correlation between intelligence and online dating.
So, what are those never evers?
Well, you are, along with millions in the US and around the world. This line serves absolutely no purpose and can also result in singles reading, rolling their eyes and thinking, “Well, I am! What’s wrong with this?” Bottomline, it does not make you look cool or like a catch – just arrogant.
My first thought is that you have been dating losers! My second thought is that you are a self-help book junkie. By the time we hit our 50s and 60s, of course we had relationships and life experience… and emotions.
But what is up with the phrase emotionally available? It’s not a positive phrase and my inclination is to think you have dated many high maintenance people. And, no, no one wants high maintenance.
Read: I am desperate, and I can be anything you want me to be! I am a commoner but could slip easily into the Royal Family. That’s not the type of impression you really want to make. You have your personality and interests – talk about them!
Ok, if your life is astrology, and you’ve been writing a national astrological column for a mainstream media – then sure, go for it. Otherwise, skip your sign!
And you’re likely way more than that. This opener sounds too bland and says nothing about you as most people hope they are nice, funny and attractive. This will quickly be a left swipe.
A more descriptive opening would be “I’m told I laugh like Sandra Bullock, am as sweet as the tiramisu I’m known for baking and treat each date as I’d want my daughter to be treated on a date.” Now that’s fun… and definitely not generic.
You are 64. Does this line exude confidence in yourself? Nope. This will be read as insecurity. Let the singles online make their own decisions that you look great for your age.
You might be surprised, but I had a 56-year-old male author insist this was a wonderful line. Then I asked him why he’d called me. Case closed.
In my 25+ years coaching people with online dating (and with a 60% success rate culminating in relationships) I’ve found this generally means the exact opposite. There would be red flags waving like crazy here. Why would this be your opening salvo? Delete! And if you see this line on a profile – run the other way!
Other than sounding eccentric, you won’t really make a nice impression with this line. If you want to appear intelligent, that you know your way around on-demand videos, or that you read the classics, then use that in your profile.
Hopefully, this is a given!
Well, that’s a huge disappointment to see. I would read this opener as “a singleton burnt out on online dating.” No one looking at your profile will want to be brought down by depressing stories of your unsuccessful dating adventures!
Don’t treat yourself as a retail item getting discounted just because you haven’t been chosen. Approach online dating as an exciting adventure! It certainly can be!
For how long have you been dating online? What was the opening line in your very first online dating profile? If you have an active profile, what’s your opening line right now? Have you seen seriously disturbing openers while browsing others’ profiles? Can you remember one that made a bad impression on you?