Many of us constantly live with questions hanging over us – questions concerning our life in general, especially when we transition to the retirement years. Perhaps you feel something is “off”, but you can’t put your finger on it. Do you know what “it” even is?
If so, I believe these feelings are more
normal than you’d think. After all, we’re told that it’s important to look at
our life from time to time and make sure it’s all we want it to be.
We want to make sure it’s the best it
However, the problem usually arises because we
don’t really understand the questions we direct to ourselves.
We don’t understand what we want so how can we
expect to answer in a way that fits us and works for our lives?
Does that make sense? Let me give you an
As I (as well as many of my friends) neared
the age of 50, I found that there were common thoughts and feelings we seemed
to frequently discuss when we were together.
And, after much reflection, I realized that
many of us were asking ourselves the very same questions and desperately
wanting to find the answers to them.
But we never really knew – for sure –
what we were asking ourselves.
So, I’m hoping that by listing these questions
below you will connect with one of them (or even all of them) and if so, maybe
take some time to answer them in detail.
I believe the effort will be well worth it for
At least it was for us.
- Who am I now?
- What do I want to be when I grow up?
- Is this all there is?
- I’m bored – what now?
- I don’t want to sit in a rocking chair, so what do I do instead?
Each of these questions is one you could have
asked when you were 18 and just getting ready to leave high school.
Maybe you even asked these questions again when you hit 30 and you realized you were no longer a 20-something and “life was passing you by.” How crazy is that statement?
And, again, at this later stage in life – you
might find yourself asking these questions once again.
With each new phase we enter, I believe we are
different people. What we thought and needed at 18 no longer applies.
Who we were at 30 is probably not who we are
at 50, 60, or 70.
We change. Our likes and dislikes have
evolved. The views we hold are shaped more clearly by our years of experiences.
Our personalities have softened or hardened.
Everything about us is different now –
especially if we had children – the Empty Nest Years are changing us drastically.
So why, then, do we not anticipate the need to
ask ourselves some deep questions at this time of life to see who we really
We need to reflect on these questions if we
want a life that is truly fulfilling at our age –
and not just a life that was created back when we were 25.
Because as we all know, that creation may not
fit now. Nothing says we need to stay in a suit that no longer fits.
In fact, I hate to wear clothes that no longer
fit. I can’t sit or stand without pulling and tugging at the clothing and
feeling miserable the entire time I’m wearing it.
Living a life that no longer fits can feel the
very same way.
Maybe you’re asking yourself some of these
questions right now, but because you didn’t know exactly what they were you
couldn’t answer them.
Now you know.
Ask yourself these hard questions. Take your
time and ponder them. Talk to friends and family about them. But more
importantly, whatever else you may do…
I promise you that your future self with thank
you for it!
What questions have you been asking? What were
your answers? How do you go about adjusting to the changes after 60? Please
share with our community!
Let’s Have a Conversation!